Otter Jokes - Animal Jokes (2024)

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Q: What's the difference between a pizza and an otter?
A: A pizza doesn't scream when you put it in the oven.

Q: What do you call the loose skin around the vagin*?
A: An otter

Q: What do you call a food stamp inside of a burrito?
A: An otter fortune cookie

Q: What would you rather be, a polar bear or a little otter.
A: A little (h)otter

Q: An otter and an otter are in a car, who's driving?
A: Animal Control

Q: How do you save a drowning otter?
A: Take your foot of its head

Q: Does Mr. Otterton listen to Gazelle?
A: Yes he's a rabid fan.

Q: Why do otters stink?
A: So blind people can hate them too.

Q: Where do otters keep their money?
A: In the river bank!

Q: What do you call a kids book about otters?
A: Harry Otter.

Q: What kind of car does an otter drive?
A: A Furrari.

Q: How does an otter get into an honest business?
A: Usually through the skylight.

Q: What do you call an otter with a carrot in each ear?
A: Anything you want as he can't hear you!

Q: What do you drive in a river?
A: An otter-mobile.

Q: What did the grape say when the otter stood on it?
A: Nothing, it just let out a little wine!

Q: Why did the otter cross the road?
A: To prove to the possum that it could be done!

Q: When does a otter go "moo"?
A: When it is learning a new language!

Q: What do you call a otter that can pick up an elephant ?
A: Sir!

Husband & Wife
A husband and wife are driving home and run over a otter, they get out and find its still breathing but freezing cold.
The husband says "Put it between your legs to warm it up"
Wife replies "But its all wet and it stinks!"
Husband says "Well hold its nose!".

Religious Cowboy

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range.
Three weeks later, a otter walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth.
The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes.
He took the precious book out of the otter's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!"
"Not really," said the otter. "Your name is written inside the cover."

Pickup Truck

A police officer sees a man driving around with a pickup truck full of otters. He pulls the guy over and says...
"You can't drive around with otters in this town! Take them to the zoo immediately."
The guy says "OK"... and drives away.
The next day, the officer sees the guy still driving around with the truck full of otters, and they're all wearing sun glasses. He pulls the guy over and demands...
"I thought I told you to take these otters to the zoo yesterday?"
The guy replies...
"I did . . . today I'm taking them to the beach!"

Nasty Little Boy

A policeman caught a nasty little boy with a BB gun in one hand and a otter in the other.
"Now Listen here," the policeman said,
"Whatever you do to that poor, defenseless creature I shall personally do to you"
"In that case," said the boy.
"I'll kiss it's butt and let it go"

Night of Drinking
A man and his pet otter walk into a bar. It's about 5pm, but they're ready for a good night of drinking.
They start off slowly, watching TV, drinking beer, eating peanuts. As the night goes on they move to mixed drinks, and then shooters, one after the other.
Finally, the bartender says: "Last call."
So, the man says, "One more for me... and one more for my otter."
The bartender sets them up and they shoot them back. Suddenly, the otter falls over dead.
The man throws some money on the bar, puts on his coat and starts to leave.
The bartender, yells: "Hey buddy, you can't just leave that lyin' there."
To which the man replies: "That's not a lion, that's a otter."

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a otter sitting next to him.
"Are you a otter?" asked the man, surprised.
"What are you doing at the movies?"
The otter replied, "Well, I liked the book."

submissons by: samnicho, erroljamestampepe

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Otter Jokes - Animal Jokes (2024)


How long can an otter hold its breath? ›

An otter's lung capacity is 2.5 times greater than that of similar-sized land mammals. Sea otters have been known to stay submerged for more than 5 minutes at a time. River otters, however, can hold their breath for up to 8 minutes.

Is the otter a rodent? ›

These rodents have incisors (front teeth) that continually grow. Otters are in the order Carnivora. Within that order, they belong to the family Mustelidae, which includes several carnivorous mammals: badgers, weasels, martens, ferrets, mink and wolverines. Why do otters exist – what is their role in the ecosystem?

What is the male otters behavior? ›

Male river otters ignore females and young through most of the year. Giant otters are more social than river otters, but separate groups tend to avoid each other. Clawless otters are relatively social. Male sea otters set up territories in female areas, and attempt to mate with any female that enters their territory.

How many pups do otters have? ›

Adults generally give birth to between one and three pups, which are blind and helpless when born. They first learn to swim after about two months. River otters generally live alone or in small social groups. They can live eight to nine years in the wild but have lived up to 21 years in captivity.

Are otters friendly to humans? ›

Otters live near lakes or ponds and burrow in ditches, so interaction with people can occur. With their sweet appearance and playful nature, it may seem impossible that otters are dangerous. However, otters can be aggressive when necessary. The animals sometimes even hunt snakes to supplement their usual diet of fish.

How do otters have babies? ›

Freshwater otters give birth on land, in dens. Birthing dens are secure and undisturbed. Most sea otter births occur in the water.

What is a female otter called? ›

They Have Many Names. Baby otters usually are called pups. They can also be called kits or kittens. Female otters are sows, and males are boars. Otter groups are called a family, bevy, lodge, or a romp.

How fast can an otter run? ›

On land a river otter can run at speeds of up to 15 miles (24 kilometers) an hour—they can slide even faster. Their playful snow and mud sliding, tail chasing, water play, and snow burrowing activities also serve other purposes—they help strengthen social bonds and let young otters practice hunting techniques.

Why do otters clap? ›

Sea otters sometimes clap their hands wild grooming their fur. Read more: Curious Kids: Why don't dogs live as long as humans?

Do otters show love? ›

They simply lie on their backs and close their eyes. Of course, it's much better when you can cuddle someone as well. And sea otters like to lie on their “waterbeds” next to each other, holding hands. So cute!

How to tell if an otter is male or female? ›

Adult males are readily distinguished by the obvious presence of testes (the male's scrotum does not become clearly evident until he is at least one year old). However, gender is more difficult to determine in adult females that have not lactated, or in cubs and juveniles of both sexes.

Can otters have twins? ›

Very rarely do otters have twins. On the outside chance that two pups are born, the mother is forced to abandon one, because she can care for only one pup. Male sea otters never care for otter pups.

Can baby otters swim? ›

until it's 8-10 weeks old, so it hangs out on its.

Do otters eat lobster? ›

What do sea otters eat? Abalone, squid, snails and other molluscs; clams; mussels; crabs; lobster; urchins; sea stars; sea cucumbers; chitons; marine worms; and about 40 other marine invertebrates; and on occasion, marine birds; and in Alaska, certain fish.

Which animal can hold its breath for 7 days? ›

Scorpion: Scorpions are organisms which can hold their breath for up to even 6 days. Scorpions are called arachnids, which are members of the animal kingdom's arachnid class. Their modified lungs, which are known as book lungs, also allow them to hold their breath for long.

What animal can hold its breath for 2 hours? ›

But champion divers, such as elephant seals, can hold their breath for about two hours. "It was known that they rely on internal oxygen stores when they're down there," said Michael Berenbrink, a zoologist at the University of Liverpool, England, who specializes in how animals function.

What animal can hold their breath for 20 minutes? ›

Which Animals Can Hold Their Breath Longest?
Sea CowMammal20 min
Emperor PenguinBird18-20 min
DugongMammal6 min
Sea OtterMammal5 min
8 more rows

What mammal can hold its breath for 40 minutes? ›

With estimates suggesting that some two-toed sloths can hold their breath for upwards of 40 minutes, this makes sloths better at conserving oxygen than even some marine mammals such as dolphins, who can only hold their breath for 15 minutes, max.

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